Adult’d so hard today. Woke up at 5am after a night of drinking, drove 250+ miles home pounding coffee the whole way, took a power nap in order to have time to shower, shave and (damn near) flawlessly iron a dress shirt before working an 8hr shift from 2pm to 10pm standing on my feet all night pouring wine and setting up/breaking down a catered dinner and somehow I’m still awake enough to enjoy a much deserved beer and watch World Cup recap.
Trying to set up a date with someone while Facebook is in existence is the absolute worst. My advice: Don’t check Facebook for about a week before AND after said date. That way, if you get stood up you don’t have to see all the fun and interesting shit they were out doing while you were sitting around sweating half naked on the couch playing videogames and watching crappy daytime television for the third week running like a complete dope.
It still kills me that Apple’s new jingle is a song about a big black dong
Found a sweet-ass house for a sweet-ass rental price. Told my parents. “Oh! You should send that link to your sister! She and [her fiancé] would love to find a place like that up here, what with the baby and all. I’m sure they’d let you live there for a few months if you payed your part of the rent. Plus you could be like a live-in babysitter1”
Not exactly what I was thinking, but okay…